I was invited to submit an article to this magazine by a good friend of mine who said, “Write about anything you like, PJ, keep it simple and just write something interesting.” Well, after I finished my internal snigger, I thought to myself, since when do I keep things simple? So here is my attempt at simplicity.
I have always been captivated by hypnosis, yet never thought for one moment that I would be chasing down a career in it, let alone leaving my beloved paramedic vocation, on a whim. But, that’s exactly what’s happening. After the training and case studies and more training, I was ready to drop my heart into the field of trance.
Shall I take a moment to digress? I was brought up in a small country town, by a good Australian salt of the earth family. Typical of the 50’s and 60’s, Dad went off somewhere every day, in a truck, and mum made chocolate cakes and ironed. Is that not the 60’s right there? Anyway, I was given a lot of rope, did as I pleased, roamed the hills, dug in the dirt, climbed every tree in the vicinity, and generally ‘drove my mother spare’, ( I still can’t think for the life of me how “spare” looks or how you drive there, but that’s what mum said, so it must have been right). The youngest of 4, ideally I had time, and mum, on my side. Yet there was always something amiss, something not quite right, something different about me, a longing, a knowing, talking to animals, understanding their ways, seeing faeries in enchanted parts of the bush where I went for solitude. Something different indeed. My world was one of fantasy, living in a mystical dream state, as we do at that age, more often dreaming of galactic adventures and transcendent wonders, than present era reality. So this was my young life, one foot in the Aussie grass roots, mum your typical white gloved church goer who loved to crack out a tune, which embarrassed me to no end, (on the very rare occasion I accompanied her near the pulpit), and the other foot in the universe and beyond.
Now, you have a picture of my upbringing, let’s move on. My path through life was, as most, steady, crazy, smitten, salted with moments of brilliance, and moments of madness, highs, lows and everything in between. So nothing really jumped out at me until I became a paramedic. This, unbeknown to me, gave me a perfect foundation for later on in my life. A foundation, cleverly mastermind, by the universe and myself. You see, this gave me the opportunity to open intuition, deep empathy, compassion and esoteric experience up close, up very very close. My young life with wonder and arcane virtues began filtering back into me at a permeable even rate. Life and death up close, seeing the reality of people, their struggles, their elation, their depths of despair in very real bonding situations. I fitted this regime in an unusually intuitive way, reading their faces, looking at the depth in their eyes, seeing the truth of who they were at that exact time we were thrown together. Inspiring indeed as I began to connect back to my past, my knowing, my difference. This was the base, my base to aspire within and find the lost kid who roamed the hills. Then, it was gone.
It was a whirlwind life, people always around for good times, anything to forget that last cardiac arrest, that last overdose or car accident, we were all chasing the adrenalin rush, inside and outside of work. Fast paced, days ran into nights, faster harder, longer, life was for grabbing and holding on hard. We were life savers and we wanted to save as many as we could. Or so was the consensus.
It was a day pretty much the same as any other, only difference was, I got the knock on the door at 11pm. That fateful knock that people dread, that chilling knock that sends you into the frozen fear state, (catatonic I believe), the one where you forget to breathe, acute breathing cessation, me thinks. I opened the door to police, paramedics and a token hierarchy manager, all familiar to me, all front line mates. Yes I froze, solid. Barely enough breath left in me, I could feel my eye lids blinking in slow motion, my body stepping away in denial, not wanting to hear any of their voices. It was just a matter of who. I knew, I knew intuitively it was my brother, but how had he died. Suicide. Of course, why had I not seen the signs, why had I not stopped him, why hadn’t this life saving hero jumped on the white horse and ridden to his rescue? My beautiful brother, my child hood hero, my mentor and my mate, just like that, gone. Not with a bang, but a whimper, gone.
Defeated, cringing and spiralling out of control was pretty much my experiences in the next few years. Ongoing mind beatings, self-loathing, guilt, anger, yes, and most of all fear. The spiral grew bigger and harsher and wilder. A saver who couldn’t save, a hero without a half shell, crashing and burning at the coal face. Yes, this was me.
But this is not a tale of sadness and despair, this is not a tale of wrong doing or pity, no, far from it. This is a tale of evolution, power in trust, a tale of change and survival, of freedom, the path to the stars, a tale of rebirth, a tale of destiny. Yes indeed beautiful reader, this is a tale of who we are all capable of being.
Now that you have the picture. Enter, synchronistically of course, a friend who saw the tail spinning, self-destruction and general mayhem of my saddened self. After a few weeks of refusal, I finally agreed to accompany her to her weekly meditations. ‘What could I lose’, I thought, ‘might get me out of my thinking mind for a moment’, I continued, ok I’m in. Behold I became the light, well, there was a tiny flicker at the start, then a little like a candle effect, then, well I’m sure you get the depiction. I started going regularly and had many hours talking with the meditation ‘guru’, my rendition. Suddenly everything made sense, my path, my thoughts, my life, my brothers’ decision and my reaction to it, all made sense. It was time to embark, slowly, ever so slowly, I put one foot after the other and came back to my version of sanity. Was it possibly to save this soul? Not only possible, but this was the very event to capture my evolution, and in 3D!
Skip, skip, skip, down the path I went, few stumbles, few trips, the odd fall, but skip I went. Behold and here we are, the hypnosis. ‘At last!’ you say, ‘Digress!’ you say “Indeed” say I.
I began looking for another world to satisfy my real passion to make a difference. My insatiable desire to see people through their harsh times, help them see other paths and other outcomes when all seems lost, relish in new perceptions. Was it because I failed to see the signs from my brother, deceived by myself, my internal perceptive system had let me down, was it a real need to help, heavens, dear reader, I’m a paramedic, help is what I do best. Or, was it my path? Yes, now the ding ding of the bell is apparent. The famous aha moment, the moment when all else stops in time, like in the movies, freeze frame. This, was the moment, this was why I had visions of far off lands all those years ago, saw faeries and mystical folk, flew in my dreams, thought nonstop of possibilities within universes and moon treks. This, at last was who I’m here to be, a hypnotherapist!
Do I need to pick you up off the floor?
Yes, it startled me also, yet felt like the cogs had meshed. Taking people from their depths of sadness, or simply helping with phobias, is where I’m happiest. The pressure is far and away less than the other career, the results are staggering, and I get to be with my client right from start to, somewhere on an evolved level. Winning!
Being a paramedic has afforded me the experience of insight. An insight to the foundations for inner human struggle. Raw and often devastating, yet captivating when sighted in an evolutionary manner. Is death not the beginning? Is new life not the soul returning? I’ve welcomed many souls back, and waved at many on their way home. Yes, foundation at its finest. I am very fortunate to have experienced my journey, albeit, I chose it.
Now this leads to the many varied and interesting cases which have cycled through my clinic. Cases of past lives, cases of depression and morning sickness, alcohol, depression, the eternal chasing of the perfect golf swing, I can go on. I think the picture is well painted. One case in particular was of a client who couldn’t remember ever being constantly happy. We traced the issue back to the womb, in fact, back to conception. There was a self-discovery, a realisation, another aha moment, (I could patent these moments). Through hypnosis, my client mentally picked up the foetus and brought herself forward, as she progressed through the stage of baby, then child. Then walked forward into a life with her inner child holding her hand. There forever to nurture each other. Now I ask you, who does this stuff? Certainly not my last career. Had I mentioned a child within in that career, I would have been a displaced adult without!
Either way I look at it, I have come to realise we are here where we are supposed to be, synchronistically, the path will chase us down. I was always meant to be a medical person, perhaps the mainstream system first, to quench a methodical thirst, or appreciation. A mainstream system that holds water within present day society. The mainstream who suffer ‘white coat syndrome’, my doctor said! Yet, ultimately rolling onto the alternate, (for the want of a mainstream name). An alternate system which has served the multitudes for eons past. When sleep temples were the way to evacuate the demons, sacrifice, belief in the God of the day. Thoth the Lord God of scribe. This, my dear readers, is who we are. For this is our past, and this, is our destiny. Behold the might of vibration, frequency and energy. It starts with us, and ends, with us. Dare to make a difference.
I hope you have enjoyed my crack at simplicity. I have endeavoured to be a vocal outcast, as I seem to gravitate toward the unusual. If it’s controversial, I’ll have a hand in it. My last few words, are to my brother which I wrote round his 7th anniversary. If you find it comforting, then by all means copy and keep, I’m at your disposal. If you find it upsetting, then maybe you have just peeled back an onion layer. Either way, my dear reader, this is for you. Namaste. I have many more tales to tell.
You should hear the one about my brothers’ funeral, and the cow……..
7 years and I still miss you profoundly. Reflection is a wonderful gift especially after the phases of grief subside. I see clearly now how your life enhanced mine yet in the end, rocketed mine to a phase I would never had known, had you not left. So, bitter sweet reflections, and can I add mostly sweet. You showed me through the maze by being caught in there yourself. Thank you for your visits in the deep of my sub conscious where you whisper lifes secrets to guide me on. Hail to you my brother, may we forever share this wonderfully euphoric energy, and sail to the beyond effortlessly. KJS 27/7/2007 my brother.